I've been meaning to get around to this post since I started this blog about a month ago, but I've been putting it off because I knew I'd get emotional while writing it.
When I was in the third grade my parents got me a puppy - a dalmatian. I named her Penny, and she was my dog (my name was even on the papers). I picked her out, taught her tricks (well, I tried to teach her tricks), and let her sleep at the foot of my bed every night. (When I started university I couldn't get used to her not being in my bed so I had to sleep with a pillow on my feet to make it seem like she was there). I still remember the day we went and picked her out, it was 14 years ago and I still remember every minute of it - Nov. 11/1993.
I was so proud of my dog, I even brought her in for show and tell in the fifth grade. When she would get out of the house, I would run after her and chase her around the neighborhood until I had her back safe in my arms. One day I even chased her barefoot over the cedar shavings they were using to make some trails behind my house - I had splinters in my feet for days, but my Penny was safe.
When I went away for my first year of university, Penny wasn't doing good. She had a condition that caused her to "reverse sneeze", and you could tell her age was catching up with her. We took her to the University of PEI veterinary hospital to get some tests done and they told us she had about 6 months to live. Four years later she was still alive.
While I was away in New Orleans, however, I found out that my parents had made the decision to put Penny down. They did it on the 29th of February (it was the Friday, the day I was leaving for New Orleans) and I didn't find out until March 6th. My parents were leaving for China and I asked who was taking care of Penny while we were all away, that's when dad told me. I was on a bus heading to downtown New Orleans where we were going out as a group (all 39 of us) and my parents were at the airport about to board their flight. At one point, I was in the bathroom of the bus and mom was in the bathroom at the airport, both of us crying.
I knew it was coming, she'd been sick for a long time and my parents had been hinting at it. But I didn't want to accept it. The worst part was that I had no say in the decision and I was the last one to find out. I know it would have been hard to watch the vet give her the injection, but at least I could have been there comforting her, give her one last pat on the head, rub her ears and tell her she's a good girl.
I don't know why this is hitting me so hard tonight. Maybe it's because I finally have a chance to breathe, or maybe it's because I haven't wanted to deal with it. All I know is that tonight I'm really missing my puppy.
Penny was a wonderful dog. She had her faults yes, she didn't like other dogs and she barked pretty much incessantly, but she loved her family. She did the funniest things, when she would stand at the gate and whine it sounded like she was saying "moooommmmmm". When she was a puppy (and before we put the island in the middle of the kitchen), she would run and slide on her belly on the newly washed floors. In the backyard, she would run laps in one direction then stop and start running in the opposite direction - she'd do this for hours if we let her. If she didn't get her morning bread and peanut butter with mom, she was not a happy camper.
We read somewhere once that it's nice for dogs to have a stuffed animal that is theirs, so we went out and bought Penny a stuffed Simba (from the lion king). One day, we had to run out and do some errands, so we left Penny and Simba together in the kennel to cuddle. When we got home it looked like there'd been a blizzard in the crate. Penny had destroyed poor Simba and the stuffing was EVERYWHERE. For years after, we kept finding little squares of Simba's fur that Penny had been keeping and playing with. That was her first, and only, stuffed animal.
Oh Penny... always good at cheering me up.
I didn't realize how much I would miss her, especially where I'm not home that much anymore. I just have to keep telling myself, she's no longer in any pain and she's running laps all over heaven. She's keeping Grammy Holloway, Loris and Andrew company too.
Miss you Penny, Love you.
(I'll add some puppy pictures when I get a chance to scan them in)
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